Sand Dune Weekend With The Man.

This post was originally written and posted on April 13, 2008.

It's not very often I get to run off and be with out The Circus.

Which, generally, is fine.

They're my girls and I'm glad to be their mom. It's something I will always be glad I did, despite how things went with my ex-husband.

But... this weekend I got to run away... kidless.

It was amazing.

Relaxing.

 If I felt like taking a nap... I did.

Of course, with two and a half days of playing and riding four wheelers, the only pictures we took were sitting in the trailer.

West (boyfriend of two months) invited me to go to the sand dunes with him and his group of friends. Neither of us took our kids.

I'll have to admit that at times I felt lost because I didn't know what to do with myself. (West admitted to feeling the same with out his kids), but it was such a great trip.

I learned a couple of things that were very important for me to learn.

I don't think I'll ever know how exactly deep the way my ex-husband acted towards me is embedded in what I think and how I react.

I got nervous when time came to sit around the campfire with all of West's friends... bad things happened when I did this with my ex-husband.

It wasn't fun, being either the attention he put to other girls and the pushing me onto his friends or the starting of the verbal abuse.  Campfires became a time of dreaded anticipation for me.

Going out with West and his friends... the campfire was actually fun. I laughed and talked and generally enjoyed the time there. West was completely content to be with me, and in no way willing to "share" me with anyone else.

What a strange concept.

I was completely at ease with him.

Another thing I learned is that he isn't going to tear down everything I try to do that I'm not good at. I didn't want him riding on the back of the four wheeler while I drove, it made me nervous having him there and I didn't want to know what he would say about it. I knew it was something he's extremely good at, but I'm not at all. I was afraid he'd get exasperated by my lack of skill and with the decisions I would make as I drove.

He wasn't like that at all.

He was so supportive.

 I don't even think I realized my ex-husband made me that nervous until I faced that situation with someone else and those feelings were suddenly there.

I told West how I felt and that I wasn't comfortable with him being on behind me while I drove. But he didn't let me get away with feeling that way. He climbed on and said he didn't care, I was still driving, and managed to put me at ease.

This entire weekend with him ranks at the top of my favorite memories list now.

What ever happens between West and me, I'm glad for the time with him. He's a great guy, with great kids, and he's great with my girls.

It's a good place to be right now.

West's dad came down on Saturday. After dinner West went outside and I sat at the table with his dad, Mike, talking. He told me dating stories and we laughed.

He cares a lot about West.

He's a sweet man.

I'm thankful for his being so friendly with me.

Catching up the blog... or April in a nutshell... or here you go Jami:)

I got an email from my cousin Jami: "So since you've decided to abandon your blog I have no idea what is going on with you. So I need some updates.
*When is the wedding?
*How are the kids?
*Are you in school? If so, how are you liking it?
*Are ya'll living in the same house now and how is that?
*How exactly do you keep up on laundry for 5+ people while working, making cakes, going to school, etc because I only have four people and we're really suffering in the laundry department? Detailed plan please.
*And when are you coming up to visit? You can bring the circus or just come with West."
Thanks Jami, I needed that to get me going again ha ha. So here we go...
I've actually been thinking about this blog for awhile and I wanted and needed to write all the things that are going on and happening and how I'm feeling and dealing but when it boils right down to it I can sum it up with two simple words: I'm. Tired. You know when people ask "when do you sleep?"... I don't. When do you think the stinking cakes get done??? I'll tell you, between the hours of 9 PM and midnight or 1 AM. But I digress... sort of. On to Jami's questions! When is the wedding??? I'll email you West's number and you can call him and ask :). We've been waiting for all the big stuff to settle down before we add another thing to it... you know, big stuff never settles down. There's always something, isn't there?
How are the kids... here's a run down of April, minus Easter which I just realized I didn't add so it gets to be special with it's own post.
Nerd day at school:
Cas played volleyball on a Rec team and I got to be her coach. Oh yes, add that to my list, because you know, I'm not doing anything else. But I'm so thankful to have been able to do it with her! Time with the kids can not be replaced by anything else in meaning in my life. Cas loves volleyball and wants to keep practicing so she can play on Jr. High and High School teams, I'm way OK with that.We spent a weekend at the dunes with some of our crazy friends. The kids dug a lot of holes
and drove the little dune buggy. Sean has something about being buried. He does it everywhere we go where there's sand.This picture didn't get turned but I took it in the first place to show Casidee's style... or lack of concern for it. Please not the tag hanging off her butt. Yes, her pants are on inside out. My question is how in the world did she do them up???
A ladybug landed in my cheesy noodles. Not cool. As cute as it is, it's still a BUG and it was in my food.My good friends Linda and Sarah. Love them.We got spring fever badly so we headed south for some sun. We spent the weekend in St. George with my parents, but mostly we spent a very long and very toasty day on the beach of Sand Hollow. Well, the kids and I did, with Grandpa Dick and Grandma KC for some of the day. West rode 4-wheelers on the dunes with Wess and Aaron. Our picnic table :)See what I mean about Sean getting buried everywhere we go with sand?

Aaron buried Sean (again) while he was standing in a hole and then made him fight his way out.I take lots of pictures of my feet... it shows where I've been... where I am... where I'm going.

Ashley, Megan, Wess:

And the cutest thing ever, the entire circus singing back up for Grandpa on his guitar. I did get it on video so hopefully in the next day or two I'll figure out how to 1. get the video of my camera and 2. how to get it on my blog. Cuteness Sam-am-I had a third birthday. Here's his monkey face:

Jes rented an awesome blow up slide that kept the kids occupied and laughing, and Jes let me make a fun spiderman cake for him. Jes' yard looks awesome by the way! She's done so much with it.

My bug, my super sweet bug, turned 7. This girl was the best baby. The best toddler. And even now, she's such a good girl. She's honest, responsible, sincere, and caring. She's also VERY sensitive. I love this girl. She just wanted to have the party at home, we have a lot of game tables (foosball, air hockey, a basketball hoop, a pin ball machine) in the basement, and that was fine with me. It was the easiest party ever, they just went downstairs and played for an hour and a half.

And then my fam and West's fam came over for a BBQ:

My cute great niece Asher:

And the spiral cake that didn't turn out how I wanted it to, but gave me a much better idea on how to try it next time.

Ella and Asher:

I love this picture :) just showing West and me interacting. He's so good for me. Or, we're good for each other. I'm thankful for my man. So for the most part of April, that's how the kids, and all of us really, are :).

Am I in school and am I liking it? I was. It just finished. You know the saying there's a time and a place for everything? It may have been the place, but it's certainly not the time. We can revert back to the two words... I'm tired. I very literally just do not have the time to put into it right now. So it's back on the back burner.

Are we in the same house? Yes. It was Tayler's party that FINALLY got me to finish unpacking and organizing my stuff in West's, now our, house. I was possessive about my stuff. I NEEDED it all to come with me. But after four months of realizing I hadn't missed any of it yet, I pulled our outside garbage cans up to the front door and started tossing thing out of the house. Things look great now, and we still have some great remodel and face lift plans for the house. Now that my decorations are unpacked and in place, it doesn't feel like West's bachelor pad anymore... it feels like I actually live here too. It's home. We've had some rocky patches combining two families, but communication and trial and error and we're getting it. I really do love our family dynamics.

As for my laundry detailed plan... we have six kids, so we took six days of the week, Monday through Saturday, and set up six chores. They all rotate on a grid system rotation. Laundry is one of those chores, so on their given day of the week they are in charge of putting their dirty laundry in the washing machine before school, switching it to the dryer after school, and putting it in their dresser after dinner. It still takes a little, or a lot, of prodding, but for the most part we're keeping up. West and I do our loads on the weekends or in the evenings after the kids. I'm not very good at keeping up with mine!!

And I definitely want to visit! It will probably just be West and me since we'll have to fly because West has an aversion to driving anywhere that takes longer than 6 hours, not that I can blame him ha ha. I've added it to our to do list :).

I think this post is plenty long enough so I'll have to do Easter and May tomorrow. I know, we're only barely half way through May, but if you haven't notice by now... we don't sit still very well LOL.