Obamacare. What I've Learned.

It’s a classic case of mercy vs. justice. Both sides are right, it simply falls to which side you want to be on.

It had only been a few months since our wedding (to my first husband) when I started feeling sick. A quick, private moment with a stick from a pink box showed me that what I was feeling would be a nine month ordeal. And then some.

My ex-husband, along with his dad and brothers, had started a family business framing houses. Together they found an insurance agent to set the family up on a group insurance policy through their company. The only thing was my pregnancy created a “pre-existing condition” that stopped the entire family from getting any type of health insurance at all. They proceeded with the setup of the policy without me, leaving me pregnant and uninsured. There was really no other way to do it.

Instead of taking care of my medical matters on my own with the help of insurance, I was forced to apply for Medicaid to make sure the needs of my pregnancy would be covered.

Years later, as news of “Obamacare” started to filter into our brains through news coverage, I sat with The Man and and tried to piece together what it would mean for him as an employer. The recession had been less than kind to many construction contractors on all sorts of levels and though my husband had maintained solid work in framing houses (a coincidence that both my husbands had been working for themselves in the house framing industry) while so many other companies went under around him, the pay was far from what it had been and long days of hard work were barely paying the overhead of his company and providing for our family. Some months it didn’t even do that and the savings account that had been built up slowly became depleted. The thought of having to add insurance for his employees was a thought that was almost too much for us to bear.

People have a tenancy to fear what they don’t understand. And I found that I feared the changes  that “Obamacare” was bringing on one hand, but could understand how good and decent people could use it on the other hand. As I’ve studied out “Obamacare” the best I can, it’s near impossible to read the actual bill, but in searching other websites, articles, and posts that explain the act in lay man’s terms I think I’ve finally reached a basic understanding of the goings on of “Obamacare,” even if it is a rudimentary understanding of it.

Parents and Pastries. And a Random Rant About TV and S-E-X.

Every year our elementary school does Parents and Pastries.

This year we got ready for school, got our chores done

(have you done your chore?  Oh yeah... times six)

and faced the steadily falling snow and drove to the school where we ate donuts and read books or,  in my case, studied nine inches of biology flashcards.  Because that totally counts as reading, right?

The Man and I were talking last night about how grateful we are that our kids talk to us.  We know what's going on in their lives and we know we can trust them.

We know this because our kids want us to tag along.  They're not hiding anything if they're constantly asking us to be where they are.  And I'm not just talking about school functions either.  They want us to join them in any activity that they're doing and that, to me, says I can trust my child and know that the life that they present to me is the life they are truly living.

I think our biggest battle right now is finding appropriate TV shows for them to watch.  Gah, the stuff that's on TV is disgusting and horrifying.  We've banned a few popular TV shows from our home because of all the casual talk of sex and the blatant innuendos that are dropped constantly.

Sorry guys, I just said S-E-X without giving you a warning.  My bad.

So I'm also grateful for my kids because when we tell them we don't want to watch that show anymore, and explain why, they understand and move on to something else.

It's my job to protect my kids for as long as I possibly can.  Some of this stuff doesn't need to be common place for them... ever, but certainly not at the age of 12 and most certainly not at the age of 8.

Maybe I'm old fashioned.

But if old fashioned means raising respectful kids who don't mess around with casual sex as teenagers because we've taught them that it means so much more than that, then I'm okay with that.  Because it should mean so much more than that.

Wow.

So how's that for a rant.  When all I really meant to do was post pictures of Parents and Pastries.

Yeah, so... Cas made the honor roll again and we're pretty excited about that and so proud of her and the work that she's putting into school.

Now all we need to do is get Cali to start doing her part around the house.  This has been an uphill battle for so long, but dang it, that girl is going to learn that stubborn just isn't going to work when it comes to doing chores.

Okay, here's our pictures from this morning.  Also, it's kind of hard to do a self shot with seven people.  We get extra points for pulling that one off.

These kids are amazing.

I might be biased, but I still stand by that statement.

blogging for fishes

I still have some events in life that I need to get thrown up on here, but I'm going to take a break from that today.

I'm feeling so emotional and I'm going to tell you why.

The Man and I have often mentioned how very grateful we are that out of 6 kids, they are all healthy.  Sure we have small issues, bed wetting, ear aches far past that of the normal infant and toddler range, missing permanent teeth (they were never formed in the gums.  We have now become the orthodontists favorite family)...

But really, we are all healthy.  I've been thinking about it a lot the past year or two actually.  It all started with this cute little girl, Izzy.  I sort of knew her parents in high school and thanks to the wonderful world that is facebook, am in cyber contact with her mom, Jennie.  What an amazing, stong woman she is.

I watched on facebook and on her blog about Izzy's cancer (here) as they made their way through that time. 

It broke my heart.

I donated to her charity's and even made cake coupons for auctions.  (I doubt they helped very much, but I tried).

Jennie is still an amazing advocate for children's cancer.  Recently on facebook she posted about a family who needed to find a bone marrow match for their young daughter's second bought with cancer.  Can you even imagine how it would feel to find that you're not a match for your child and can't help them? You can read about Millie's ongoing battle on their blog (here).

When Jennie spread the word for Millie's family about a bone marrow drive at Primary Children's hospital to search for a match for Millie, she said, "if this were your child, would you want people to show up?"  To which I answered yes.  Yes.  If it were my child I would be hoping and praying with every ounce of my being that people would show up.

So West and I did, and we're now in the bone marrow registry.  I really wanted to be a match for Millie, but I guess I wasn't.

It catches me in the gut how much I need to help these causes that are fighting for children who are fighting for their lives.  How wonderful would it be to find a way to relieve their pain?

I'm writing this post because today, as I was checking out my recipe blogs (oh thank heavens for recipe blogs.  My husband thinks I'm a good cook because of them)  I found two blogs posting on the exact same topic.

And if you haven't yet guessed, it's about two children from the same family, dealing with pain and fighting for their lives.  They have a rare gene dysfunction called Leaky SCID (Severe Combined Immune Deficiency).  Here is their story in their own words:



Let's help this family be able to afford the medical treatments for their girls.  Help me help them.  I'm asking you to go to The Sister's Cafe here and read the story.  Or Mel's Kitchen Cafe here. A cookbook compiled of recipes from 40+ bloggers is being sold to raise money for the Fish family. 

Both The Sister's Cafe and Mel's Kitchen Cafe are giving it away, but let's all buy a copy.  The host of lemonpoppy cake did this project for this family and you can buy the book here from her site. You can buy the actual printed book, or buy it as an e-book.  And spread the word.  Because I don't feel like I do enough for these kids who need help.  These families who need relief.

You can follow the Fish family's fight on their blog about it here.

That's a lot of linking, I know, but I don't know what else to do.  Except buy a book.  Which I did.  And spread the word.  How blessed are we to have healthy families? 

In the words of Jennie, how would we be feeling if we were doing this for our own child?

looking through windows



what choice do we have? come what may and love it

We joke with my co-worker Mike {an auditor} about how short he is. His head comes up to my midsection, I can't see him over the top of my computer, and he can't reach a lot of things.

Mike is in a wheelchair.

We call him the baby of our office.  He's only 27. 

Mike meets my candid questions with his own candid answers and we had a great conversation yesterday.  I've learned that Mike wrestled in High School and used to tease his wife and her family about how short they were.  He's added that he guesses the joke's on him, he's shorter than they are now.

It made me wonder what happened to put Mike in a wheelchair, and when? Obviously, with his comments, he was already married when it happened. 

So I asked him.  Mike, when did you get to be so short?

Four years ago.  He worked construction, a business he owned with his brothers doing custom log homes.  One day the scaffolding broke underneath him and he fell nine feet.

I thought of West and his falls with ladders and broken bones.  Only with West, it was never his spine.

Somehow Mike managed to compare his wheelchair to my divorce, and the emotional burdens of my previous marriage. 

He said people say to him they don't know how he does it.  But he looks at me, and at his sister who has gone through a divorce similar to mine, and he says he doesn't know how we did it. 

To which I reply, what choice did I have?  I just did it, one day at a time.

He said the same was true for him.  He can do it because what other choice does he have? He said that if complaining would change his situation, he would be complaining loud and clear for the whole world to hear.  But it doesn't change his situation.  So what's the point?  He told me about being in physical therapy and seeing paraplegic patients, and being so grateful for the simple use of his hands.  He told me of his amazing and solid wife and family, who are a great support system for him.

Part of my commute home includes a hill.  Throughout the week I see a man, in a wheelchair, struggling to push himself up that hill.  And my heart breaks.  I want to pull over and help him up that hill.  But then I realized,  he's tackling it on purpose.

I've been thinking about these two wheelchaired individuals all night.  Pondering the conversation with Mike.  Attitude is everything.  It can make you or break you.  And it's completely in your control, even when nothing else is.

Mike said really, we all have our battles.  We all have our struggles.  The only difference is that his are blatantly obvious, where other people's aren't.

I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who blesses me beyond what I deserve.  I'm grateful for an optimistic attitude towards life, and the determination that my life will be amazing, come what may.

And with that I leave this thought on the subject.  I hope you'll read it.
Happy weekend. I hope it's a good one for you and you find all that you're looking for from it.  I know I will.

I'll finally get to see The Muppets.  It's finally at our dollar theater.  Waiting a little longer to see a movie is worth it when I can pay $12 instead of $56 for my circus to see it.

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Ironic or hypocritical?

I'm usually a pretty passive aggressive individual.  I hate conflict.  I avoid it.  At all costs.  I get nervous and clam up at the possibility of a disagreement gone awry. Except this summer when a large family of Tongans walked all over my stuff because they decided they wanted to make some room in the shade at the local swimming pool by moving my stuff out of the way.  I became not very nice in that instant, letting them know exactly what I thought and it shocked me. 

I guess you can say I'm still being passive aggressive with this rant on my blog today, but it's my blog.  And it's where I dump my over full brain. 
So I'm getting on my soapbox, and if you know me you know this soapbox well. 
Judging just really gets under my skin and makes me grit my teeth.  Even though I've been known to do it, because it's a really hard thing not to do ever, and frankly, some things require a bit of judging.  But other things, however, do not.
I've said it before and I'm going to say it again.  Life is hard enough with out us making it harder for each other.  My favorite quote on the subject? "Be kind.  Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." (Marjorie Hinckley).
Let's talk about gay rights shall we? Well, no, probably not right now.  That's not actually what I'm getting on my soapbox for, but let's just say that I have been nothing but kind and supportive to my homosexual friends in the fight to live how they feel.  It's a hard battle and I still stand by my words that just because someone lives life differently than we do doesn't mean they're wrong.
Imagine my surprise this morning to read a comment from a gay friend that put down my lifestyle. He, who fights for his lifestyle and wishes to live free of judgement, turned on mine.  Claiming that he was next to a family who had *gasp* five children under the age of five.  First of all, let's make a false claim to make the situation sound more sensational than it is because we all know that he didn't approach this family and he sure didn't ask the kids' ages.  He just claims that they're five kids under five years.  I'm sure there were five, and I'm sure they were all young, but come on now.  And even if it were so, I had four under four years.  And currently have six within five years of each other. So the next comment of his being sure that parent planning classes are available to such people (which, considering the facts that I just stated about the ages of my own circus would include me, right?) stung. 
I wonder that those who have to fight so hard to live judgement free, can turn around and dole it out with out a second thought. 
And frankly I'm only hurt because though his comments weren't aimed directly at me, they most certainly included me. And that's the thing about judgement.  I've also heard this before in the harsher debates of stay at home mom vs. working mom.  Comments will be made.  And me, on my judging soapbox which I seem to not be able to get off of, will butt in.  And then it's said, "well I didn't mean you."
And we never do.  We always mean that person over there who has the same situation as you, but I didn't mean you.
I do it.  I know I do it.  The same as you do it, and the same as my friend did it.
Ironic or hypocritical?