One Day At A Time

Sometimes I hit a moment where I feel like my head is spinning and I just want to hyper-ventilate.
Somewhere along the path of paperwork and deadlines at work,
dishes, vacuuming, and laundry,
schoolwork for The Circus,
making sure they brushed their hair and teeth before school,
only to realize they didn't and they've been walking around looking like that all day.
The peed beds,
dinner,
the kids coming to me one after another, Mom I need...
again and again,
lessons for church,
and the expectations I have on myself to do it all perfectly all the time.

Going over my English and biology syllabi yesterday did me in.

Each claiming to be a very difficult, yet fulfilling class.

If you put the extra effort into this class you'll do just fine.

Times two.

And I thought, where do I have the extra to give?

I might be slightly OCD and I might be okay with that.  It's in these frantic moments of "what have I turned my life into?" when something in me disengages and says, "hold up there girl, let's just map this all out."

And I sit down and start writing due dates in my planner.

Deadlines and meetings for work,
homework and activity dates for the kids,
holidays and birthdays,
homework due dates for me,
and appointments.

I color code it.

Pink for birthdays.
Green for my school.
Yellow for my work.
Orange for The Circus stuff.
Purple for church.

And then I take one week at a time and I look at what I have happening, and what's coming up due.

And then I break it down day by day, giving each item it's place in my time.

Homework will get done in advance because I scheduled it to be so.
Meetings and deadlines will be remembered at work because they have their slot.
Lessons for church will be prepared because time was set aside to do it.
Kids will be taken care of.
Cleaning will happen.
Date night sits there smiling at me.

And when I see that I really can fit it in, and that it really all can happen I start to feel a little better.

I stop looking at the semester.
I stop looking at the month.
I stop even looking at the week at this point.
I look at one day.
One item.

And then I do it.

And move on to the next item.

One day at a time.