Yeah?
I thought so.
As it is, only 35 days until graduation so even though I feel I'm barely hanging on to life by my fingernails there is light at the end of the tunnel and I'm beginning to feel it.
I just want to say that I know my Heavenly Father has helped me through this semester.
Probably in the usual ways with understanding on the subjects I'm studying, but in other ways too.
Sometimes the ways He helps us are subtle and we don't even realize what's happening if we don't take the time to notice it.
Exhaustion has been my constant companion this semester. I just can't get enough sleep. I'm waking up at 4:45 in the morning and running strong and hard with classes, homework, work, occasional manuscript deadlines, church duties, and family.
By the time I'm ushering The Circus off to bed at 9:00 I feel I have just enough movement left in my limbs to fall into bed myself.
And then I wake up and do it all over again.
There's a few things I feel I'm being helped with.
1. I can get up and do it all over again. Somehow, even with the exhaustion, I'm still going.
2. Even with a 24 hour stomach bug and several colds circulating our home this winter, I've been solid in my own health.
3. A husband who hasn't complained about my load and how it affects what I can and can't get done around the house one bit. Not once. Even when he's eating ramen for the third night in a row.
4. Kids who have never complained about my load and how it affects what I can and can't get done around the house one bit. Not once. Even when they can't go to a friend's house "today" because Mom has class and can't come pick them up.
5. Friends who have never complained about my load and how it affects what I can and can't get done at church. Not once. Even if they have to fill in for me on Wednesday nights because I have Spanish class for a few months.
6. Somehow I'm not behind on anything. Due dates are met. Deadlines are met. Meetings are attended (mostly). 40 hours is put in at work. Projects are finished. Errands are run. Appointments are made. A bedroom was repainted. I attend soccer games. I attend orchestra concerts. I teach lessons. And I still have time to talk with my children every day and fit a date night in with The Man on the weekend.
Though blog posts have become scarce. I guess something had to give.
If I stop to notice it, I'm being held up. I'm being buoyed.
I feel the term "count your blessings" is thrown around flippantly. We're used to it, we hear and say it in such an off handed way. But in all honesty, if life is feeling hard, or heavy, or exhausting, take a step back and look at how blessed you are in all of it.
We get busy. We get tired. And sometimes there isn't anything we can do about it but push forward. But we are not alone.
"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." Doctrine and Covenants 84:88.
Elaine Dalton taught us: "In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things." (Alma 20:4).
Sheri Dew taught us: "But the Lord in His mercy has made it so that we need never deal with the challenges of mortality alone."
"President Hinckley has often said that the only way he knows to get anything done is to get on his knees and plead for help and then get on his feet and go to work. (Here)" I feel that to be true, especially in this phase of my life. But I know, despite how big it seems, and how exhausting it feels, and how much guilt I sometimes carry at all that I'm not doing, He is pulling me through.
I am not alone.
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