The Circus tells you how it is

I should have posted this last week, but holy cow, it's amazing sometimes how busy life can get.  There wasn't a single day last week that I was in the same place with all six kids at once to corner them for answers.  I got four of the girls to answer these questions while Jay and Sean were at their mom's but as soon as Jay and Sean got back, I was headed to St. George.
So here's what we have, but I may have to update it as soon as I get a chance to sit down with Jay and Sean.

Where does the tooth fairy come from? Santa lives in the North Pole the Easter Bunny lives in a hole, but where is the tooth fairy's home?

Casidee: the tooth fairy lives in a rock in the magical land of teeth
Cali: she lives and comes from tooth world, which is on a different planet.
Tayler: in the sky.
Brynn: London.

Seriously, all you need to know about that crazy lady, the tooth fairy, can be found right here.
But for the record, she lives in a tooth castle in tooth fairy land, which is in the clouds.  Don't listen to Casidee, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Living in a rock... come on now.

Also... she does not look like The Rock.

Just sayin'.

How do you incorporate God and spirituality into your home without practicing or committing your life to one specific religion?

Casidee: pray and read scriptures
Cali: by praying.
Tayler: praying and reading the scriptures.
Brynn: Well, you could pray and read the scriptures.

Firstly, I'm going to let you all know that I know the person who asked this up close and personal.  Therefore I know their situation, and their desires past this one question.  So if I seem to be making assumptions... I can.
Secondly, I must say that I am an active, devout member of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I take my kids to church.
That being said, I firmly believe that love is the answer to all things and if you choose to handle religion differently than I do, then by all means, that's your choice.  As my choice is mine.  And I still love you, and hope that you will still love me.
The Man is not a member of any church.  Nor are his kids.  So we know a thing or two about live and let live around our house.  And love.  Above all things, love.  And a good dose of mutual respect.
I also believe, and it is taught, that the church is a tool for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.  You can be active in the church, and not be actively living the gospel.  (If you're interested, there's a talk about that here).
And this can be said for any church.
I firmly believe that my kids need to know the gospel.  Not just what we do, but they need to understand why. (A good talk on that here, if you're interested).

If you want to know God and have those things in your home, by all means you must learn about them.  Take it straight to the universal source, The Bible (um, universal for Christians that is, since that's what this question is about :).  Read with your family.  Tell them stories and the lessons therein. Explain it to them.

What better way to know God than by reading His words?

My favorite is Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. As well as their companion, Daniel.  The first time I read that straight out the King James Bible as a teenager I got goose bumps.  I always knew that those guys came out of the fiery furnace alive, but when I read the verse where they say:

" If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.

 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Daniel 3 17:18)

They had no idea they would come out of that.  And they still stood up for what they felt was right. 

Powerful.

Don't have a Bible on hand?  You can find the King James version online here.
Or if you want to, you can also check out the Book of Mormon online here.  Or get a free copy here.  It has some pretty good stuff in it.


But that's up to you.

Not only can we hear His words to us through scripture, but we can speak with Him through prayer.  If it's something you want to establish in your home, pray together, and teach your children to pray on their own.

If it's one thing I know, it's that He hears us.  He is there.

He loves you.

This I know.

One more thing.  Service.  Not just for those around you, but teach your family to do service for each other inside your home.

Nothing brings you close to the spirit of God like serving one another.  Purposefully.

What is your favorite thing to do for the 4th of July?

Casidee: hang with family and put smoke bombs in water.
Cali: watch fireworks.
Tayler: watch fireworks.
Brynn: Have a big barbecue.
What's not to love about the 4th of July?  Except that it's not Halloween.  I have a full pinterest board of ideas that I'm just bursting to try out. :)

And according to Julie-Mom I need to carve something out of fruit...
(inside joke).

Also, have you ever put smoke bombs in water?  It's pretty cool, I would highly recommend it.  It makes color bubbles :).


How do you know when you've really forgiven someone after they've hurt you?

Casidee: when you aren't mad at them and you can be happy around them
Cali: I don't know.
Tayler: you can be nice to them.
Brynn: I'm not sure.  I guess when you know you're ready to forgive them.

My thought on that is you know you have forgiven them when the hurt no longer controls how you act or react towards them.

Hanging on to that bad stuff only affects our own selves.  It's so hard, sometimes, to let go, but the freedom and lightness you feel when you do is so much a happier place than when you carry around the bad feelings.  I've learned that the hard way.

Good questions.  Thank you.  I love seeing the wheels spin in the heads of The Circus when they think about these.  If you have a question you want to run pass them, please feel free to comment here or email us at circuscakes@gmail.com.

The Circus tells you how it is

I threw it out there on facebook that if you had a question for The Circus, they'd be more than happy to help you out with their take on life.  We got some good questions.

The Circus had some good answers.

How do you choose battles with teens?

Brynn: I don't get the question.
Tayler: I don't get it either.
Sean: I don't know.
Cali: I don't know.  Why would you want to?
Jayme: Choose more important things like boyfriend/girlfriend problems or not cleaning or not listening.
Casidee: You should decide if you would like him/her to do that thing.  For example if he/she wants to go to a movie with a friend you don't like, don't let them.

Plain and simple, right?

Right...

We're just barely getting on the verge of teens in our house so it's new territory for us but we have a plan of action.  I can't really tell you if it's going to work or not, but it makes sense in my mind.

What's that plan of action?  Communication.

Jayme's and Casidee's answers come from experience around our house.  I have my hard limits.  My battles if you will.  Chores are a hard limit as well as being honest.  But frankly, in my mind, as long as those are being met I'll let others "fudge." 
For example: If the kids are showing responsibility by getting their daily chores done and the house is relatively clean everyday, and they're not fighting amongst themselves, then I'm going to let the curfew or bedtime lines be fudged when they ask to go play night games or have a "late night" at a friend's house. 
I think give and take is a good thing, because that's how life is.  And by communication with my kids, they understand that because they met my hard limits, I'll let some of the other rules slide here and there, because frankly, they've been really good kids in the other areas and they deserve a break.
If you find a battle building, communicate with your teen.  As in, by talking, not yelling.  Explain to them your reasons and feelings, and then allow them to explain their reasons and feelings. 

Don't be afraid to change your mind.  If they have sound reasons for what they want, it's okay to let them know that they've made a good point and you can now agree with them after hearing what they've said.  I've found that after I'll listen, and even concede to their side on some things, they're more willing to listen and try to understand when I don't.  Because they now know from experience, that Mom will listen to them.  Casidee knows that when she's presented me with an argument against the "no friends over when parents aren't home" rule, and I listened to her, realized that she's been really responsible lately, and that it isn't fair to let everyone else go play while she has to stay home and watch Cali.  So with the compromise that as long as she continues to keep the house clean, even with friends over, and as long as the friend's parent knows there's no adult at the house, she can have a friend over while we're not there. (See?  I kept my hard limit of chores, but conceded on something else). Since she now knows that I listened to her argument, when I put my foot down on one certain friend, explaining to her why, she understood where I was coming from in return.  She didn't feel like I was being unreasonable because she now knows that I will listen to her, and in this instance I felt I had good reasons, and she in turn listened to me.

And that battle turned out to not be a battle.  It was a discussion where both sides were speaking and listening.

But like I said, we've only just begun to experience this issue.

How do you stay awesome?

Jayme: by being creative and kind.
Casidee: by being nice and thinking you're awesome.
Brynn: by being me!
Tayler: keep playing with people or hanging out with people.
Cali: by liking my family.
Sean: by helping people.

And if you think about it, those are really deep answers.







How do you keep peace in your home?

Sean: By eating healthy and not starting a fight.  If someone's arguing just say, "you're both right, it doesn't really matter."
Casidee: If you're happy then everyone else around you is happy and your house will be peaceful. 
Brynn: We don't fight.
Tayler: Do fun stuff and be nice to each other.
Cali: By not fighting and doing our chores.  I like it when my family is home, it's makes me happy.
Jayme: Keeping it clean and acting positive.

You know that saying, "if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy?"
I'm a firm believer that our kids take their cues from us.  How do we react?  What's our mood?
When my kids start to bicker and fight, or exclude each other my response is always this, "the world is hard enough.  Home should be the one place where you feel you belong and don't have to worry."  And then, again, communication.  We talk about my expectations about how I want our home to feel, and why I want that.  And usually they agree with me. 

Easier said than done though.

The cool thing about kids, if they know you have a certain expectation of them, they'll usually do their best to meet it.  Of course, the hard part is being consistent because it's hard for them to know what we expect if we're always changing what we enforce.

I was also told that when kids are being really ornery and acting out to remember to HALT.
Ask them,

Are you

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

Usually if I can get them to stop and assess why they're acting that way, we can get it taken care of and everyone is a lot happier for it.

I really enjoyed talking these questions over with the circus and hope to be able to do this question thing again. Thanks to those who asked us one.

Do you have a question you want The Circus to tackle?  We'd love to hear them.
circuscakes@gmail.com