Tayler Applies for a Job. Easter Sunday. With a Few Other Pictures.

Yesterday Tayler turned in her fist application for a job.  She's been anxiously waiting for her 14th birthday, because at 14, you can apply at the school district for a janitorial job.  Brynn is currently cleaning the elementary school that's a block away from our house every day after school.  They're always taking on "subs" for when the regulars need to find someone to cover a shift for them.  Brynn started out as a sub and has now become a regular.  Tayler is excited to get the ball rolling and get herself on the sub list (they're used quite often).  So she got her application, filled it out, and got the head janitor at the elementary school to sign off on it.  I drove her down to the distric office so she could turn it in.

She scoffed at me when I told her I wasn't going to go in with her.

"Mom, I'm not an adult."

"But you're applying for a job.  Get on with it."

And she did.

 
She came out of the building on cloud nine, "I did it!"

She certainly had.

Normally Easter is an exciting time for us in that it opens up our first camping trip.  Our first stretch from our winter hibernation.

However, this year we took our first trip out during spring break (post coming), and it wasn't our year to have the kids for Easter, so we relaxed at home.

Casidee and I donned our new Easter dresses, attended church, where I taught, not about the Savior, because I had done that all through the previous month, but about the restoration of the church.  Which I still felt was very apropos as the Savior atoned for our sins, died and was resurected again, and therefore covered all for us.  And in so doing had the right to lay out what He now asks of us in return.

Going with Brad Wilcox's analogy (here), if a parent pays the piano teacher it does nothing to help the parent.  The parent did it so the child could grow and become better.  But because the parent paid the teacher, they now can ask the child to practice.

Our Savior "paid the piano teacher," and He asks us to practice.  Our practice comes in the form of repentance.  And while sometimes it's heartbreakingly hard to repent for the same thing, yet again... I know how hard it is to kneel and know that I need to say the words "I'm sorry" for the same thing time and time again.  "How can I face this prayer again?"

Let's remember Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's quote, "However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made … , I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines” (here).

It is by repentance that we practice becoming heavenly.  We practice becoming more like our Father.

And just like a parent can dictate the "when, where, and how" of practice, perhaps saying, every day for an hour after school, so does our Savior.  We are asked to attend church, make and keep sacred covenants, lover our neighbors, read our scriptures, and repent daily... to help us in our practice of learning to become heavenly.

And so we talked about that in Young Women's on Easter.  And I also spoke about this topic for Mikayla's "homecoming."  Perhaps I'll dig out my notes and write it in full here.  I love the topic of the plan of salvation, the plan of happiness.

A couple random pictures from my phone:

When your arm starts to tingle but The Man is fast asleep and you don't want to disturb him, so you settle into the tingles and just enjoy his closeness.

And when you've found that you've dressed the same as your daughters.  With five of them, it's bound to happen on occasion.

This I Know: The Atonement

Yesterday I had the privileged of teaching the Young Women, which I love and somewhat miss.  Since becoming part of the presidency my formal teaching moments aren't as  regular as when I was an adviser.

I'll take it.

I felt a bit... inadequate, as the topic was on the atonement.

First, and foremost, I have a testimony that my Savior lived, suffered in Gethsemane, died on the cross, and was risen again.

All for me.

I know it to my core.

I know in that great council when we realized that we wouldn't be able to do this journey on our own, because some lessons are so hard to learn... so hard to learn... that when our Savior stood forward and covenanted to take on that role for us, that we cheered.  We cheered because we would get to learn all that the Father knew (and I'm pretty certain that He is the coolest person we will ever know, so why wouldn't we cheer to learn all that He had to teach us?), and we cheered because we knew that we would not be taking the journey alone.

We often teach the Plan of Salvation in a line of a series circles.  A physical journey from the first circle at the beginning, to one of the three at the end of the line.  I think the Plan of Salvation is more of a circle: a spiritual journey from our Father, to where we learn all that we can and prepare to be like Him, until we finally do return to Him; not having changed our physical location, but more our spiritual understanding and being.



I think when the Father said that there would be need of a Savior, we all sat in a heavy silence for a second.  Quite similar to the silence that greets you when you ask a room of teenagers for a volunteer for a prayer.  I imagine myself knowing that there was no way I could even do this for myself, how would I ever be able to do it for everyone else as well?

I know I cheered when He stepped forward and took it.  And he didn't fail me. Never did he falter, though, in his mortality he did seek a different way, if at all possible, but he never faltered and he gave all.

To the very end when in a simple prayer he stated, "Father, into the hands I commend my spirit."  I gave it all.  He did not fail us.

Me.

He did not fail me.

This I know.

The Tree Of Life.

So  here's something that I've noticed:

my kids are a lot happier when I limit their use of social media.  Like, it was a night and day change in their attitude.

So basically, I'm fine with my kids not using social media ever again.  Or until they move out of my house.

I'm not sure why that is, but the evidence is plain to see with at least one of my children, so I'm going with it.

Last week for Young Women's we took the girls (and boys) to see the Tree of Life in Draper Park.  Have you heard of this yet?

It was awesome.

And it sparkled.  Which was even more awesome.

We started out at the church and did a thought on the Tree of Life.  Knowing that this a story that they should all be fairly familiar with, I just asked them to walk me through it while one of the young women drew it on the board.  (If this isn't a story you're familiar with you can read it in whole here.)

We started with the fountain, had the straight and narrow path with the iron rod.  There was the river of water, and the great and spacious building.  We covered part of the path with fog, and then at the end stood the Tree of Life.

Once we had our picture up, I asked them what does it all mean?  And they knew the general answers (you can read them in full here):
fountain is the word of Christ,
the straight and narrow path the way that we should go,
the iron rod is the word of God,
the dirty river is the word of Christ dirtied and muddied by the philosophies of men,
the great and spacious building are those who
the fog is temptations in our lives,
and finally, they said the tree of life is heaven.

Which is exactly the answer I was hoping they would give.

Because,  yes, it can be about the plan of salvation in that this is how we make it through this life to return to our Father in Heaven.

But it's more than that.  It's also about our daily lives.  The in and out pressures and temptations of school (for the youth) and work and just life are the fog that surround us.  Sometimes we feel like we're lost and can't quite figure out our way on our path.  So what do we need to do?  We need to hold on to the rod, which is the word of God, meaning pick up your scriptures.  Literally, hold on to the word of God.  And by so doing you will find the Tree of Life, which is the love of God.  Every day we can be doing this.  And what is the fruit that we can partake of from that love?  Peace, comfort, guidance, direction, tender mercies in our daily lives, answers to prayers.  The possibilities are endless, really.  And so, so personal.

So we talked about this.

And then we went to the Tree of Life.

He Knows You. He Hears You. He Has Already Provided A Way.

This weekend was Stake Conference.

I found myself thinking about another Stake Conference that had been pivotal in my life.

During my divorce I had moved in temporarily with my Brent-Dad and Julie-Mom.  It was a temporary solution.  I was, of course, struggling emotionally and spiritually.  I was walking away from a marriage that should have been eternal but ended up being mentally and emotionally abusive and oppressive, and had asked more from me than I should have had to give.  Even so, it hadn't been an easy decision for me to walk away from it.

I was having a hard time finding a job.  I didn't have a finished degree (the reason I'm pushing so hard to finish it now, I'll never be so unprepared for life again) and I had an eight year gap in my resume from being a stay-at-home mom.  The mental adjustment from being a stay-at-home mom to a single, working mom wasn't an easy one for me and it added to the situation.  I was cleaning houses on the side where I could with my sister, McKell, but had nothing substantial to provide for my girls.

A neighbor reached out to me one weekend and invited me to attend Stake Conference with her.  I don't know if she was acting on a prompting or if she was simply tying to be a nice neighbor to the new person in the ward, but I will forever be grateful for her invite.

The Stake Conference was being held in a conference center and I rode with my neighbors there.  I can't remember anything that was said in that conference, but I do remember that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the twelve Apostles was the concluding speaker.  To be honest, I can't even tell you what he spoke about, but at the conclusion of his talk he proclaimed that he felt the need to leave an Apostolic blessing.

Though I was sitting in a large conference center, full of people, that moment became an intimate one for me that it could have been just Elder Holland and I having a private conversation.  I knew in that moment, despite who else might be needing it, this was for me.

Elder Holland went on to bless fathers, mothers, and children with all the wonderful characteristics that fathers, mothers and children should have.

Then he said, essentially, to those of you who are struggling: He knows you.  He hears you.  And He has already provided a way.

A few weeks later I was offered a job with a company that took very good care of me and my girls for the next few years, even with a recession.  And within the same hour of being offered the job, my application for an apartment was accepted.

I had the things I needed to take care of my girls.

I'm no apostle, but I can testify to you that He does know you.

He knows you.

He hears you.

He has already provided a way.

And I have a firm testimony of the spirit and personal answers that can come from attending Stake Conference.

Just As James Promised.

When Christ was on the earth He did a lot of things we should be taking note of.  In truth, His life is the very example we should be patterning our own after in every way.  One of the things He did was set up His church, complete with the priesthood and a quorum of apostles and the whole she-bang.

When Christ left the earth, He left the church established in His apostles.  But the world wasn't quite ready for what they had to say.  One by one they were killed off form the earth, taking the priesthood authority with them.

But the Old Testament was still around, and the writings and teachings of Peter and Paul and all the other apostles where still circulating and eventually they were compiled into what we now know as the Holy Bible.  And men interpreted it the best they could, and some just flat out changed the meanings to fit how they wanted it to.

Different churches arose for various reasons but the priesthood and the truths of the gospel were lost and muddied.

Enter Joseph Smith Jr.

As a 14 year old boy, listening to the great preachings of so many churches and wondering at them as so many do, even today, he felt directionless and confused and was asking questions but not finding any real answers.  Or, perhaps, finding answers but how can every church be true, as they claim, when they're all different?

One night as he was looking in the Bible he found the verse, James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

He did just that saying, "At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to 'ask of God,' concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture." (JSH 1:13)

One day he ventured out into the woods to find a solitary place.  "After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.

"But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

 "It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" (JSH 1:15-17)

Christ created the world, under the direction of His Father.  And under the direction of our Father in Heaven, he created all things that are on the earth.  (Moses 2:1).  No unclean thing can be in the presence of God the Father.  It's through His son, Jesus Christ, that we can become clean again.  In, or through, Christ's name we pray to the Father.  And through Christ we receive direction and blessings. Christ is our intermediary.

He is our Savior.  Through Christ we can return to our Father in Heaven.  He made this possible for us.  And in return for that, He simply asks that we live His gospel. "...He has appointed the law of the gospel as the medium which must be complied with in this world or the next, as He complied with His Father's law... Hence being the mediator between God and man, He becomes by right the dictator and director on earth and in heaven for the living and for the dead, for the past, the present, and the future..." (John Taylor, Mediation and Atonement, p. 171).

Joseph Smith Jr. received a clear answer that day.  None of the churches were the true church of Christ.  But through Joseph Smith Jr., the true church was again established on this earth.  Like the apostles of old Joseph Smith learned a lot of things from Christ in a very short amount of time.  And like the apostles of old, he eventually gave his life as a sealing testimony.

In Jeffrey R. Holland's book, Broken Things To Mend, he gives a talk where he speaks of all the dispensations of time, and through all the efforts by righteous prophets to establish the gospel on the earth, it never fully took.  Prophets were killed.  Teachings were rejected.  Apostasy ensued.

Until today.

Elder Holland points out that in all of those times, those prophets who taught with their lives weren't doing it for their time.  They weren't doing it for their people at that moment.

They were doing it for us.  They were doing it for our time.  Our time, the last dispensation when the fullness of the gospel would be restored and not only stick, but spread throughout the entire world. We are the fruits of their labor.  We are who they have taught.

I hope that we can take to heart the words of President Uchtdorf, "please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." (here)  If there are questions or things that don't make sense, it's simply that we need to do as Joseph Smith did.  Study.  Pray.  I have learned in my life that when I don't understand something, the problem has been with me, and I've simply needed to learn more about it.  Always, the answers, the wisdom, comes.  Just as James promised it would.

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You Can Be Bitter. Or You Can Be Better.

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Sometimes it starts with something small.

I've been reading Jeffrey R. Holland's book, Broken Things To Mend (here, affiliate link).  It's a compilation of some of his talks.  I read in his talk, "The Tongue of Angels" (here) that in the book of James it tells us of a way to be "a perfect man (or woman)."  "Said James: 'For in many things we offend all.  [But] if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.'" (James 3:2)

Last night I read in another chapter, an address Elder Holland gave at a National Day of Prayer Service in the Provo Tabernacle, about when Christ is teaching the Sermon on the Mount and he concludes with, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)  Elder Holland then goes on to point out that right before that verse, Christ tells how.  "If this comes as the grand finale, the great summation in a chapter that began with the sweet and simple Beatitudes, what immediately precedes perfection?  Or better yet, what preparatory virtues point us toward perfection and this full majesty of God?  I quote the verses immediately prior to the grand declaration of perfection: 'Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?  do not even the publicans the same?  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?  do not even the publicans so?' (Mathew 5: 43-47)  I confess that I do not know how we meet the Savior's injunction to be perfect, but I am guessing we will be a lot closer to that goal if we can love our enemies, bless them that curse us, and pray for them that despitefully use us."

It's love. 

All you need is love.  *cue in Beattles song here*...

This morning I ran across this video from Alex Boye, Lemonade.

"I'm just so broke you won't believe
Can't get a dollar out of me
And as far as I can see
I'm losing control like a bad disease
No I just can't get relief
I've been shot down by the life police,
And everyday I try to rise
But I can't succeed
Can anybody find a cure for me?
You can be bitter, bitter, bitter
Or you can be better, better, better

When life gives you lemons
Instead of champagne
Don't worry little children
And don't complain
Remember you're golden
So find some sugar cane
When life gives you lemons
Make lemonade

Now everyday is like a brand new year,
I throw my hands up in the air
Like I just don't care,
I'm moon walking down the streets
Feeling like oh yeah (oh yeah!)
like the bottom of the glass now I see clear
So now I laugh just a little more
I stand taller than I did before
I know I'm not where I need to be
But I thank God that I'm not
where I used to be,
I used to be bitter, bitter bitter
And now I feel better, better, better

When life gives you lemons
Instead of champagne
Don't worry little children
And don't complain
Remember you're golden
So find some sugar cane
When life gives you lemons
Make lemonade

I was saved for a reason
That I can't explain
Got something new to believe in
I'm awakened again
So many miracles are
Happening each day
If I can just get out of
My own way"

These three things may not sync as the same topic at first glance, but it took me on a journey.

If my goal is perfection, which I'm well aware I will never achieve in this lifetime, then shouldn't I be watching the words that I say?  Elder Holland points out (here) with James 3:10, "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not so to be."  Elder Holland expounds, "The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of oneself and of others in the process.  'Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,' James grieves, 'These things out not so to be.'"  Add that to the words of James 3:2, "...if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man..." and you have something to think about.

From there, I began to realize if I'm concentrating on what I'm speaking, it forces my concentration on what I'm thinking.  If I don't want to say it, I'm finding I'm trying to curb even thinking it.  And if I'm curbing even the thought, it's changing my attitude and feelings to be softer.

Don't get me wrong, this has been a hard thing to practice and I'm nowhere near were I should be with it, but in practicing no negative thing, I'm finding this is forcing me to more fully contemplate the second point that hit me from Elder Holland; Christ's teaching of love and prayer for your "enemy."

Not that I feel I have enemies, per se, but I do have individuals in my life that I struggle with.  And individuals who seem set out to specifically make my life harder, for whatever reason.

And now I'm trying not to express anything negative about them.  Which is leading me to curb my thoughts and not even think anything negative about them.  Which is a direct path to forcing myself to pray for them. Or, at least it should be.

And trying to love them.

And by "love" I'm generally aiming for a feeling of "good will."  I think it's in the same ballpark.  Or at least in the right direction.

It's a hard process.

It's a daily struggle.

So Alex Boye's video seemed to capture it for me.  Especially the second and third verses.  Go back and read them above.

For me, it ties back into no negative thing. I can be bitter about certain things and certain people.  Or I can be better and loving.  And if I'm to believe in the words of the scriptures, which I absolutely do, that will lead me to perfection.

At some point.

In the far off future.

 In the meantime, and hopefully much nearer future, it will lead to a happier life for me.  I can't complain about that.

Peter On The Water

You know the story when Peter sees Christ on the water and he wants to walk out and join Him, and Christ tells him to "Come." 

And Peter does.  

He walks on water.  

Can you imagine the thrill of that moment?  "I'm WALKING ON WATER!"  And your eyes are locked with Christ and you're doing it.  I try to imagine Peter's emotions in that moment.  We have those moments.  We just did something hard, or went through something hard and suddenly a blessing is totally obvious and the joy... we did it.  Our eyes are locked on Christ.

But Peter, for whatever reason, remembers the wind around him.  And wind always brings waves. I imagine the wind pulled at his hair and clothes and the spray of the water hit his face.  And Peter's eyes left Christ; his focus was on the waves. 

And in that moment he began to sink.  

We do that too.  We stop looking at Christ because life was going good and easy and we forget how much of that is His help.  So the wind picks up in our lives and the waves come at us and we begin to feel like we're sinking, even drowning in the proverbial sense as I imagine Elder Jeffrey R. Holland would say it.   And we call out, like Peter, "Lord, save me!"

How often I've poured my heart out in prayer in that way.

I love this next part.  IMMEDIATELY Jesus stretches out his hand to save Peter.  

To save us. 

Even while He's shaking His head and saying something to the effect of, "You were right there, you had it.  What happened?  Why did you look away?  Why did you doubt me?"

Because hadn't the wind and waves been there all along?  Even when Peter first set foot on the water?

I think I can relate to Peter, out there on the water.

Maybe you can too.

(Matthew chapter 14)

I'm a Recovering Bully

I started out today feeling like I needed to take a strong, hard look at myself.

And it weighed heavily on my mind.

And then I saw this video, though it's been floating around my social media, and even in my Youtube notifications for a bit now, I'd not take the time to actually watch it until this morning.



I hope this video drives home a message for so many.  And not just our youth who are in Jr. High/Middle School and High School.  But for we adults as well.  The dynamics are there in our workplaces, in our playgroups, in different organizations we're involved in, and in the people who cross our paths in life in general (road rage anyone?).  It's also there in our homes with our own children and spouses.  A lot of us have the situations where we're dealing with ex's and ex-family, and I know that I've been bullied by an ex-family member that I used to love and respect.  But I know I've also felt the affliction of the feelings that make us lash out at people.

"I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment, and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves. When we feel hurt, angry, or envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment."

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!" (Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy, read it in full HERE).

I've been on both sides of this spectrum.

I'm a recovering bully.

At the old age of 11 years I had a quick mouth and would say whatever I wanted to and about people, even if I knew it was hurtful.  Even if I knew it wasn't always true.  At that time I never thought of myself as a bully.  My friends laughed and thought I was funny and the only reason I did it was for the positive attention I felt I was getting.  I looked at myself as being more of a comedian.

Which I think might be the case with the boys in this video.

I lost a lot of those friends because of my behavior.

As an adult I took on the mantra to never speak ill of anyone for any reason.  And I feel like I had true friendships, friendships that proved to be solid at the difficult time in my life when I needed them.

And I watched how the actions of someone who used to be so beloved to me, someone I greatly admired and respected, turned on me in a cruel manner, either ignoring my presence altogether while I stood there before them, or simply giving me dirty and hurtful looks, not even trying to mask the contempt that was being felt for me.

No matter how justified we think we are when it comes to this treatment of others, no matter how flippant we think it is in passing, no matter how much we think we have the right to be hurtful because we have been hurt, the plain and simple truth is that we are wrong.

And we must stop it.

"Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?

Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?

Do you secretly envy another?

Do you wish to cause harm to someone?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!" (Uchtdorf HERE).

We don't know the other side of the story.  We don't know why people act the way they do, even if we feel we're close enough to the situation, we don't know.  We don't have the right to say things or act in a way that portray others in a way that is less than ourselves, even if we think it's just in passing or just in jest.  We don't even have the right to lash out when we feel it's deserved.  They've hurt us and we have the right to act that way, they brought it on themselves, we certainly are justified are we not?

Stop it.

"Our Savior has spoken so clearly on this subject that there is little room for private interpretation. 'I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive,' but then He said, '… of you it is required to forgive all men.'" (Uchtdorf HERE)

It is my job to love.

It is my job to open up to everyone and make sure that I'm the friend that's there when anyone needs one.

It's my job to make sure there is harmony in my home, in my work place, in my organizations, in my associations, and yes, even on the road.

It isn't my job to be concerned if anyone else is doing their job with this.  It's just my job to make sure that I'm doing it, myself.

It is not my job to dole out judgement and payment.

It is my job to forgive.

That's a pretty big job.

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Show Me Then.

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In the hustle and bustle of life I've had specific goals and plans that I've been trying to reach towards.  Steps that I'm trying to take to get me in the right direction.

And none of them were coming together the way I was hoping they would.

Which led me to struggle with doubt of what I was trying to do with my life.

Which led me feel like I had no idea what I was doing.

Which made me kind of grumpy all around.

The domino effect can be staggering.

I hit a bottom of sorts where I threw my hands up, in the recesses of my mind, and determined in a half prayer, "show me then.  Because everything I've been trying to do is falling flat and I just don't know anymore."

It wasn't a challenge.

It was absolutely sincere.

And that's where I left it.

Monday dawned, as Monday's tend to do, and I felt I was wearing a blanket of blah around me.  I was a bit sad, and completely frustrated with myself, and I was absolutely full of doubt over my life. We were questioning if The Man would get his full check from a company he frames for (they like to keep some of it sometimes for various reasons), I had my math final that day, and I was lost as to other steps I had reached out to and felt they had fallen flat.

And I prayed, as I tend to do.

As the day progressed a few things happened that drastically changed my mood from feeling like I was curled up on the fetal position on the ground, to soaring on cloud nine.

The Man did indeed get his full check.
I aced my math final.
A website picked up some shirts we were trying to sell from our boutique.
I got an answer to an email that I had given up hope on, giving me the opportunity to take a proofreading test to be a freelance proofreader for a publishing company (I'm turning it in today! Eek!).
And as a cherry on top, I got an unsolicited email from a company asking to meet me with me to partner up with my blog.  ( I have big hopes for this!  Stay tuned, we meet today!).

And that right there, my friends, is what I know to be the tender mercies of a loving Father in Heaven.  I badly, desperately needed an indication that He was aware of me in this moment, and that I was either going in the right direction for my life or an idea of where else to go.

And it came.  In a rush of different responses, it came.

He loves me.  He is aware of me.  He is rooting for me.  He wants me to succeed.

And He's doing the same for you.

"In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time. People who do the right thing at the wrong time can be frustrated and ineffective. They can even be confused about whether they made the right choice when what was wrong was not their choice but their timing." -Dallin H. Oaks (read it, watch it).

Happy weekend ya'll.

My plans?  Paint a bunk bed.
Finish Christmas shopping.
Date night with The Man, which may or may not include dinner and a movie, which may or may not be my favorite thing to do in the winter.