The Toothfairy Test

I had a conversation with a co-worker a few weeks ago about being a parent.  I think she said it nicely when she stated, "It doesn't matter how many books or articles you read, or how prepared you think you are for parenting, it's never enough.  Those kids come with their own hard drives and you can only hope that they'll turn okay despite you."

Here here, amen, and all that jazz.

Parenthood is giving me a great big slap in the face right now with a couple of my children who are struggling with school, and I'm at a complete loss as to what more I can do.

And equally as aggravating: the toothfairy. (here)  Yeah, totally on the same level for me.

Yesterday morning I was throwing a load of laundry into the dryer because I needed an article of clothing out of it to wear to work.  Tayler's alarm went off in her bedroom, and she crept out into the hallway rubbing her eyes.

"Mom, I need to tell you something."

This could be the opening for who knows how many things so I simply turned and looked at her, waiting for what would follow.

"Cali lost a tooth yesterday but she didn't tell you because she wants to see if the Toothfairy is real."

I almost had a hallelujah spot right there in the closet of a laundry room (Literally.  It used to be a large linen closet).  I hate the Toothfairy.  Loathe her.  Who in their right mind ever thought she was a good idea?  You're naturally growing up and loosing body parts, let me give you money.  And here it was, my perfect chance to be done with it for good.  Cali is my last believer, and we're on borrowed time with her belief at that.

But then I thought of all the ways to realize that the Toothfairy isn't real... and of course, subsequently the Easter Bunny and that jolly ol' elf, Santa Claus himself...  In one early morning moment all of that would be gone from our house.  Forever.  And not just the loss of those beliefs, but we'd be leaving behind a stage of our lives.  That would be the end of little kids in our home.  Our family would step into a new phase of life.


And it all hung on that stinking Toothfairy.

I walked Tayler downstairs where we raided The Man's wallet for a single dollar, because let's face it, I rarely have cash on hand.  I handed the dollar to Tay and asked her to go make the exchange.  If Cali woke up it would be much less strange to see Tayler standing next to their bunk beds than it would be to see me.

But Cali didn't even stir and Tayler found the tooth hidden in an empty gum box (I don't know... my kids are weird).

And with that we borrowed just a little more time for Cali's childhood, before she gets too big on me.

For the record Cali didn't say a single word to me about her missing tooth until after dinner last night.  And she only showed me the gaping hole in her mouth, she made no mention of her test, and the fact that it successfully proved the reality of the Toothfairy.

Not a single word.

I guess that's how it is when you know something secret, that not everyone else is sure they know.  There's power in that, and that was good enough for her.

Or she faked sleeping and knows exactly what went down and now has a completely different secret.

I guess I'll never know.

Surviving the Toothfairy

I thought about throwing up a spoiler alert for this post, but then I realized, if you're old enough to peruse blogs for leisurely reading, then you're probably old enough to handle what I'm about to disclose, making a spoiler alert unnecessary.

If that's not the case, I blame your mother.

And you should too.

Tayler lost a tooth yesterday.

I don't know who started the whole business of the tooth fairy, but it's one I could I do without.

Just for the record, at our house the going rate for a tooth is a dollar.  The end.  No books and toothbrushes and five or even twenty dollar bills.  I think that's insane.  Do you realize how many teeth your children are going to lose?  And that's the standard you're going to hold?

If you can do that, all the more power to you, sister.

As it goes, the tooth fairy often forgets at our house.

And the toothless child will come to me in the morning, rubbing sleep out of their eyes, and say something to the affect that the tooth fairy never came.

And then I reply with, "I'm sure she came!  Let's go look."  And somewhere between where ever I'm standing and their bedroom I find an excuse to visit my purse, like, I suddenly desperately need chapstick.  I detour to my purse, put on chapstick, slip a dollar into my palm, and head to the bedroom.

I rustle pillows around, and look under blankets and then, "oh here it is, it just fell on the floor."

I learned this from my dad (Dick), though it didn't occur to me that it had gone down like that until I was a parent and "the tooth fairy didn't come," and suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head and things became very clear.  And in that moment I knew exactly how to handle it because I knew I had never suspected otherwise as a child.

It works every time.

So yesterday Tayler lost a tooth.

So this happened.

Because that's the level that my life has come to, setting an alarm to remind me that the tooth fairy needs to make a visit.  Usually I set the alarm for 10:00 or 10:30 at night, but exhaustion had sunk into the very depths of my soul last night. If I hadn't known better I would have suspected that I'd been drugged, I was so drained and foggy. So I gave myself a break and set the alarm for the morning for right before I would leave to my math class.

Just as I was finishing my makeup the alarm went off on my phone, reminding me that I had a very important parental duty to attend to before I left the house (seriously, who made this toot fairy act up?  And WHY?) so I grabbed a dollar and went to the bedroom that Tayler and Cali share.

We all keep our bedroom doors closed, all of the time, to keep the dogs out.  And in the case of the kids, to keep them from eating whatever hasn't been put away.  Which is a lot.  The issue I was facing on this morning is that Tayler and Cali have a bit of a broken doorknob and it takes a few turns to get it to open.

As quietly as I could muster I wrestled with that doorknob, hearing every turn and moan that it made, and every bump of the door on the door frame as I struggled with it.

Right then I formed a back up plan.  If they wake up I'll just tell them I'm checking on them before I leave, give them hugs in their beds, and quickly do a swap tooth for dollar as I wrap my arms around Tayler.

I got the door open and peered into the room.

They were still dead asleep.

Tayler and Cali sleep on the other side of the room from where the door is so I tentatively stepped into the room and in doing so stepped on something that made a rather loud rustle.  The floor of their room was completely covered with toys, clothes, books, blankets, and what have you.  I guess I know what we're doing tonight.  I tried to walk across the room, dodging a small table, without making any noise by what I was walking on, and with out killing myself.

One step on a stray lego and it would be all over with.

I made it to Tayler's bed, but realized I had another obstacle ahead of me.  I've taken the girls' bunkbed apart to refinish it.  It's currently sitting in pieces in multiple stages of being painted in the basement.  The girls are sleeping on their mattresses on the floor.  Tayler's mattress is pushed up into the corner of the wall, going down the length of one wall, while Cali's is pushed right up next to Tayler's, going down the length of the other wall, creating an L shape.  But what this has done is left me with no obvious access to the top of Tayler's mattress where her head and pillows, and thus tooth, are.  There are walls and Cali and her mattress on every side.

My only option is to kneel on the side of Tayler's mattress and lean over her as I reach up to her pillows.

You have got to be kidding me.

Go for the hug approach, I think as I kneel down onto the bed.

But she doesn't move.

I lean over her and take my hands on either side of her stack of pillows.  She has three pillows under head and I'm not sure which layer she put the tooth under, and I'm hoping and praying that she listened to me and put it in a baggie to make it a little easier to find.

I decide to start with the top layer and work my way down.

I put my hands on either side of the pillows and run them under the pillow toward the middle, practically face to face with sleeping Tayler as I'm bent over her to accomplish this.

Good thing I brushed my teeth.

And I then I feel it.

I'm not sure what it is though.  But it has to be it.  So I grab it and leave the dollar in its place.

I'm still not in the clear.  I get my hands out from under the pillow and push off the mattress to get myself up and off.

And I stand there, frozen.

But she's still asleep.

I turn and take the death walk over piles of stuff back around the table and out the door.

I feel like my greatest success of the day happened at 6:30 this morning.

Out in the hallway, after the door is closed again, I look at what's in my hand.

"To the Tooth Fairy.  From Tayler." With her address and the tooth taped into the corner.

And suddenly I feel a little guilty that I didn't have a book or a toothbrush or even a five dollar bill to put under her pillow.

My greatest success of the day has now become a huge guilt trip.

And I can't put enough emphasis into the thought, who even made the tooth fairy an issue to begin with??

The Circus tells you how it is

I should have posted this last week, but holy cow, it's amazing sometimes how busy life can get.  There wasn't a single day last week that I was in the same place with all six kids at once to corner them for answers.  I got four of the girls to answer these questions while Jay and Sean were at their mom's but as soon as Jay and Sean got back, I was headed to St. George.
So here's what we have, but I may have to update it as soon as I get a chance to sit down with Jay and Sean.

Where does the tooth fairy come from? Santa lives in the North Pole the Easter Bunny lives in a hole, but where is the tooth fairy's home?

Casidee: the tooth fairy lives in a rock in the magical land of teeth
Cali: she lives and comes from tooth world, which is on a different planet.
Tayler: in the sky.
Brynn: London.

Seriously, all you need to know about that crazy lady, the tooth fairy, can be found right here.
But for the record, she lives in a tooth castle in tooth fairy land, which is in the clouds.  Don't listen to Casidee, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Living in a rock... come on now.

Also... she does not look like The Rock.

Just sayin'.

How do you incorporate God and spirituality into your home without practicing or committing your life to one specific religion?

Casidee: pray and read scriptures
Cali: by praying.
Tayler: praying and reading the scriptures.
Brynn: Well, you could pray and read the scriptures.

Firstly, I'm going to let you all know that I know the person who asked this up close and personal.  Therefore I know their situation, and their desires past this one question.  So if I seem to be making assumptions... I can.
Secondly, I must say that I am an active, devout member of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I take my kids to church.
That being said, I firmly believe that love is the answer to all things and if you choose to handle religion differently than I do, then by all means, that's your choice.  As my choice is mine.  And I still love you, and hope that you will still love me.
The Man is not a member of any church.  Nor are his kids.  So we know a thing or two about live and let live around our house.  And love.  Above all things, love.  And a good dose of mutual respect.
I also believe, and it is taught, that the church is a tool for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.  You can be active in the church, and not be actively living the gospel.  (If you're interested, there's a talk about that here).
And this can be said for any church.
I firmly believe that my kids need to know the gospel.  Not just what we do, but they need to understand why. (A good talk on that here, if you're interested).

If you want to know God and have those things in your home, by all means you must learn about them.  Take it straight to the universal source, The Bible (um, universal for Christians that is, since that's what this question is about :).  Read with your family.  Tell them stories and the lessons therein. Explain it to them.

What better way to know God than by reading His words?

My favorite is Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. As well as their companion, Daniel.  The first time I read that straight out the King James Bible as a teenager I got goose bumps.  I always knew that those guys came out of the fiery furnace alive, but when I read the verse where they say:

" If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.

 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Daniel 3 17:18)

They had no idea they would come out of that.  And they still stood up for what they felt was right. 

Powerful.

Don't have a Bible on hand?  You can find the King James version online here.
Or if you want to, you can also check out the Book of Mormon online here.  Or get a free copy here.  It has some pretty good stuff in it.


But that's up to you.

Not only can we hear His words to us through scripture, but we can speak with Him through prayer.  If it's something you want to establish in your home, pray together, and teach your children to pray on their own.

If it's one thing I know, it's that He hears us.  He is there.

He loves you.

This I know.

One more thing.  Service.  Not just for those around you, but teach your family to do service for each other inside your home.

Nothing brings you close to the spirit of God like serving one another.  Purposefully.

What is your favorite thing to do for the 4th of July?

Casidee: hang with family and put smoke bombs in water.
Cali: watch fireworks.
Tayler: watch fireworks.
Brynn: Have a big barbecue.
What's not to love about the 4th of July?  Except that it's not Halloween.  I have a full pinterest board of ideas that I'm just bursting to try out. :)

And according to Julie-Mom I need to carve something out of fruit...
(inside joke).

Also, have you ever put smoke bombs in water?  It's pretty cool, I would highly recommend it.  It makes color bubbles :).


How do you know when you've really forgiven someone after they've hurt you?

Casidee: when you aren't mad at them and you can be happy around them
Cali: I don't know.
Tayler: you can be nice to them.
Brynn: I'm not sure.  I guess when you know you're ready to forgive them.

My thought on that is you know you have forgiven them when the hurt no longer controls how you act or react towards them.

Hanging on to that bad stuff only affects our own selves.  It's so hard, sometimes, to let go, but the freedom and lightness you feel when you do is so much a happier place than when you carry around the bad feelings.  I've learned that the hard way.

Good questions.  Thank you.  I love seeing the wheels spin in the heads of The Circus when they think about these.  If you have a question you want to run pass them, please feel free to comment here or email us at circuscakes@gmail.com.