Dear Daughters: A Note About Mean Girls

I know that girls aren't always nice to each other.

In fact, I understand that girls can be down right cruel to each other.

I know it hurts.

I know you wonder what's wrong with you that she would treat you that way.

I know you struggle to understand her actions, her attitude towards you.

I've learned in my life.

I've been in your place.

But I've been in hers too.

And I've learned.

The things that she says,

the way that she acts,

it isn't actually about you.

That girl is hurting,

she's insecure,

she's unsure about herself,

she's unsure about life,

and she sees all the things that she feels she's missing, in you.

And that makes her jealous.

And that makes her lash out at you.

For whatever reason she feels she's missing something in her life,

and she sees you as having it all.

So in jealousy,

and maybe even spite,

she thinks that if she brings you down it will make her feel better.

Like she's conquered what she feels she's missing.

The sad thing about it all, is that while she's making you miserable,

she's making herself even more miserable too.

She's not going to find what she's looking for by treating you like this.

I want you to understand where she's coming from.

I want you to understand that her actions aren't a reflection of who you are.

I want you to know that if you just keep being the happy, sweet, beautiful girl that you are, people are going to see that.

The things she says and does aren't going to affect how people see you.

They're going to affect how people see her.

Stick with the people who love and accept you.

They won't pay one bit of attention to her.

I hope that you'll realize that her attitude is not a reflection of how she sees you, but a reflection of how she struggles with herself.

So don't talk badly about her, even if she's doing it about you.

But even as I say this to you, by all means, don't let her walk all over you.

If push comes to shove, please stand up for yourself.

Without calling her names.

You are good and kind.

And one day she will come to regret the way she treated you.

And when you feel that all of your patience and strength have been tested with her, and you can't stand it another day,

never underestimate the power of ice cream and a movie with you mom.

I'm always on your side baby girl.