You Can Be Bitter. Or You Can Be Better.

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Sometimes it starts with something small.

I've been reading Jeffrey R. Holland's book, Broken Things To Mend (here, affiliate link).  It's a compilation of some of his talks.  I read in his talk, "The Tongue of Angels" (here) that in the book of James it tells us of a way to be "a perfect man (or woman)."  "Said James: 'For in many things we offend all.  [But] if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.'" (James 3:2)

Last night I read in another chapter, an address Elder Holland gave at a National Day of Prayer Service in the Provo Tabernacle, about when Christ is teaching the Sermon on the Mount and he concludes with, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)  Elder Holland then goes on to point out that right before that verse, Christ tells how.  "If this comes as the grand finale, the great summation in a chapter that began with the sweet and simple Beatitudes, what immediately precedes perfection?  Or better yet, what preparatory virtues point us toward perfection and this full majesty of God?  I quote the verses immediately prior to the grand declaration of perfection: 'Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?  do not even the publicans the same?  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?  do not even the publicans so?' (Mathew 5: 43-47)  I confess that I do not know how we meet the Savior's injunction to be perfect, but I am guessing we will be a lot closer to that goal if we can love our enemies, bless them that curse us, and pray for them that despitefully use us."

It's love. 

All you need is love.  *cue in Beattles song here*...

This morning I ran across this video from Alex Boye, Lemonade.

"I'm just so broke you won't believe
Can't get a dollar out of me
And as far as I can see
I'm losing control like a bad disease
No I just can't get relief
I've been shot down by the life police,
And everyday I try to rise
But I can't succeed
Can anybody find a cure for me?
You can be bitter, bitter, bitter
Or you can be better, better, better

When life gives you lemons
Instead of champagne
Don't worry little children
And don't complain
Remember you're golden
So find some sugar cane
When life gives you lemons
Make lemonade

Now everyday is like a brand new year,
I throw my hands up in the air
Like I just don't care,
I'm moon walking down the streets
Feeling like oh yeah (oh yeah!)
like the bottom of the glass now I see clear
So now I laugh just a little more
I stand taller than I did before
I know I'm not where I need to be
But I thank God that I'm not
where I used to be,
I used to be bitter, bitter bitter
And now I feel better, better, better

When life gives you lemons
Instead of champagne
Don't worry little children
And don't complain
Remember you're golden
So find some sugar cane
When life gives you lemons
Make lemonade

I was saved for a reason
That I can't explain
Got something new to believe in
I'm awakened again
So many miracles are
Happening each day
If I can just get out of
My own way"

These three things may not sync as the same topic at first glance, but it took me on a journey.

If my goal is perfection, which I'm well aware I will never achieve in this lifetime, then shouldn't I be watching the words that I say?  Elder Holland points out (here) with James 3:10, "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not so to be."  Elder Holland expounds, "The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of oneself and of others in the process.  'Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,' James grieves, 'These things out not so to be.'"  Add that to the words of James 3:2, "...if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man..." and you have something to think about.

From there, I began to realize if I'm concentrating on what I'm speaking, it forces my concentration on what I'm thinking.  If I don't want to say it, I'm finding I'm trying to curb even thinking it.  And if I'm curbing even the thought, it's changing my attitude and feelings to be softer.

Don't get me wrong, this has been a hard thing to practice and I'm nowhere near were I should be with it, but in practicing no negative thing, I'm finding this is forcing me to more fully contemplate the second point that hit me from Elder Holland; Christ's teaching of love and prayer for your "enemy."

Not that I feel I have enemies, per se, but I do have individuals in my life that I struggle with.  And individuals who seem set out to specifically make my life harder, for whatever reason.

And now I'm trying not to express anything negative about them.  Which is leading me to curb my thoughts and not even think anything negative about them.  Which is a direct path to forcing myself to pray for them. Or, at least it should be.

And trying to love them.

And by "love" I'm generally aiming for a feeling of "good will."  I think it's in the same ballpark.  Or at least in the right direction.

It's a hard process.

It's a daily struggle.

So Alex Boye's video seemed to capture it for me.  Especially the second and third verses.  Go back and read them above.

For me, it ties back into no negative thing. I can be bitter about certain things and certain people.  Or I can be better and loving.  And if I'm to believe in the words of the scriptures, which I absolutely do, that will lead me to perfection.

At some point.

In the far off future.

 In the meantime, and hopefully much nearer future, it will lead to a happier life for me.  I can't complain about that.